she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
