White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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