let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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