yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I showed him my bush... on skype.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
