hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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