Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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