U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
