ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
