Your tits are I can't wait for
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
