Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
