Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
