I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
