You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
