Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
