so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize