Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
