Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
