Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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