Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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