TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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