you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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