soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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