He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She even gives head with a lisp.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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