Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
