We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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