I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
