Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
