ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
