After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
