We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
