I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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