Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
