This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize