I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
