She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
