Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
