I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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