i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
