Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
