So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
