it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
vagina is talking i cant
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Bring me that man meat
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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