Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
