just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The feeling are messing with the penis
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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