Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
