I wannas sexs uuuuu
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
