i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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