she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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