IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
