Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize