Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
