Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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