ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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