no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
