i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
