we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
