you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
