He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
